Tourniquet
by EternalConfusion
Summary: A short one chapter, Chris songfic. Takes place during 'Fantasies in the Flesh' when Chris has been shot my a Darklighter; and he reflects on the reasons he came to the past.


Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Charmed; it may shock you but I'm not THAT talented. Neither do I own the lyrics to 'Tourniquet', they belong to Evanescence.  
  
A/N: I wrote this whilst I was travelling to France on the coach, all I had was the music so I'm praying that the words are right.  
  
Oh, yeah and this happens during 'Fantasies in the Flesh' when Chris was shot with a Darklighter arrow-and is of course written from his perspective. This is my first shot at a Chris fic, and at the moment I'm just planning for this to be a one chapter fic.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'I tried to kill my pain  
  
But only brought more, (so much more)  
  
I lay dying  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal'  
  
I came back to try to save Wyatt, my brother. Well...actually I came to prevent him from turning evil. I came back to save my family, but in the process, just tore it apart. I'm sorry Mom...I just wanted to save you, save Dad from the evil Wyatt. I thought I could, but in trying to I've just made everything so much worse. I never meant to break my parents up, but I did. I thought...if Dad became an elder, he'd be able to help save us-but I was wrong, as usual. I never thought he'd leave Mom to become an Elder, but he did. And so now I'm dying, but it doesn't really matter...that much. I mean, no-one's actually going to miss me, they probably won't even notice that I'm gone until it's too late, way too late. I've risked my very existence, in a couple of moths I won't exist anywhere inside time and space. And because I'm dying-I've screwed up every chance of getting Mom and Dad back together in time.  
  
'I'm dying  
  
Praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
My God,  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God,  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Do you remember me?  
  
Lost for so long  
  
Will you be on the other side?  
  
Will you forget me?'  
  
I don't know how this whole time-travel-dying thing works; but I hope that when I die you'll be on the other side, waiting for me. And Mom, I hope you remember me. As your son, not your replacement Whitelighter. I don't really want to die, but I don't have a choice now. I don't have a place in the grim future that I know, no on that I want anyway, I don't want to be Wyatt's little sidekick. I just wanted a proper family-I wanted to feel wanted and loved; but that's not going to happen. Right now, the 'Charmed Ones' won't even know I'm gone; not even Piper, my own mother. She doesn't know who I am; maybe I should have told her; but they could only do so much more if they knew.  
  
'I'm dying  
  
Praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
My God,  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God,  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
I'm going to die  
  
My God  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God  
  
My tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My wounds cry for the grave  
  
My soul cries for deliverance  
  
Will I be denied  
  
Christ  
  
Tourniquet  
  
My suicide.'  
  
I can't say I never thought I might die, because I knew it was a possibility-I just didn't expect to die like this. I thought that I'd least be conceived or something, I thought my family would know and love me; but that's just a dream...it's all it ever was...all I ever died. I thought I could change the future...what a joke, no matter how hard I tried it would always turn out the same...  
  
"Mom...is that you?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So there it was, I hope it wasn't too bad. I don't know why, but I seemed to think that this song fits Chris quite well-actually quite a few songs from the 'Fallen' album do...so you never know, I may write another Chris Songifc. But until then, please review and tell me what you think. 


End file.
